The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride Cover Art

Streaming on: Disney +

Language: English

CC: English

Genre: Fantasy Adventure Comedy

Honestly I am one of those people that has had all the words memorized to "Storybook Love" by Mark Knopfler since I was like 7. At basically every stage of my life this film has been quoted - mawwiages, mostly deaths, storming castles, and all the times along the way. Anyhow let's dive right into this review and dear reader... we're gonna talk BDSM in relation to this "childhood" favorite!

It would be terribly remiss of me to begin a review of "The Princess Bride" without taking a moment for all of that wonderful nostalgia to be found in the bedroom of The Grandson (Fred Savage - yeah... he apparently doesn't actually have a name in the movie). That Atari! Those action figures! Even the posters on the wall and closet doors... I have no idea if kids rooms today look anything like this but I can tell you that my childhood bedroom definitely had this vibe. The posters, the toys, the "art"... seeing it on screen just hits different when you're an adult. And then The Grandfather walks in *POW* right in the feels. Now I recognize without a doubt not everyone had any version of loving relationship with their grandparents, but I absolutely did. At this point in my life I have exactly 2 out of 8 (that's a tale for another time dear readers) grandparents still alive and the most recent 2 who died, it was sudden and unexpected. So yeah. That *POW* hit the nostalgia warm fuzzies extra hard. Here I am yammering on about family and getting older and I mentioned BDSM in the opening. No we're not getting into the way BDSM can play out as we become Elders... meaning it's time to get farther into the movie and into where the kink comes out to play!

Enter the farmhouse scene and our introduction to Buttercup. Dear, sweet, gorgeous Buttercup. Who solidly delivers Brat energy with a capital B throughout the entire movie. There are moments that remind me of "Karen" energy but then I remind myself that to be a "Karen" requires making some very deliberate choices about being upset or "unfairly" picked on the world and that's just not Buttercup. She's sassy, a bit naïve at times, definitely bringing some of that young confidence that is at the heart of every Brat I know. Westley starts off somewhere between a Softdom and a service bottom. My money is on Softdom given how his character develops but man those first two "As you wish"... definitely read to me as service bottom energy. Ah the promises of sweet youth... or is it just a huge heaping dose of NRE (New Relationship Energy)? In my older and wiser years now I place my beats on overwhelming NRE that sets up unrealistic expectations for the future of their relationship. Word to the wise friends... take every "super sweet" promise in the first few months with a grain of salt. Don't be like Wesley and Buttercup.

Moving right along we get Humperdinck on the screen and with absolutely no questions about it Humperdinck is your classic "Dommly Dom". He has NO clue, little to NO training, ALL the self-entitlement, and honestly should probably not be in positions of power basically ever given his character. He's the Dom every new person to the scene encounters at least once, possibly even agrees to play a time or two, and then gets a true "ick" for the whole encounter. Some people never come back after a time with a Dommly Dom. No enter Vizzini... oh Vizzini. The "squeaky makes your skin crawl just a little bit because he thinks he knows better than absolutely everyone namely because on very rare occasions he gets it right" character. INCONCEIVABLE! I would bet that Vizzini leans into his hidden fetishes but also prefers to keep that and himself out of the limelight. He might go to fetish events but probably in a mask (despite that basically anyone and everyone knows that it's him) or he might be the type who has a Domme and only does private sessions so that he can continue to be a "power" figure as far as the world is concerned. I do get this kind of raise the eyebrow moment right before Vizzini dies of iocane poisioning that maybe the real take-away from Vizzini's character is to watch out for the ones we might otherwise label as "harmless", after all Vizzini was there to commit murder for hire and spends a lot of his time berating the people around him. Very toxic workplace energy. We've got 2 more character to dish on and there's still over an hour left of movie to explore! Iñigo Montoya... talk about a man with stellar focus after spending an entire life dedicated to enacting revenge but he's only after 1 person. Iñigo reads to me as a service top. Have something you want done that he feels confident in? He's there but he's definitely focusing on what you want in that endeavor, not his own pleasure. The flip of that is a service bottom, which to me can be found in Iñigo's bestie Fezzik. Fezzik who is always there to follow instructions and get the job done. I feel like the two characters I want most as DM (dungeon monitors) are Iñigo and Fezzik. They are going to monitor the room and make sure all is going as well as it can be and they are going to take great joy if everyone goes home at the end of the night happy and satisfied.

Cinematically we're to the scene at the top of the hill - EVERY WOMAN HAS EXPERIENCED THIS BULLSHIT APPROACH of "shame first, question later". Every. Single. One. For some it was from a partner, others a hookup, still others it was their friends, their family, or their employer. It's an odd moment to really take that in. Like I paused the movie because I hadn't really thought about it before this particular rewatching that had me considering things like power dynamics and relationship dynamics specifically. It's like a glossed over serving of slut shaming (do remember it was at least 5 years later). Given what we understand about piracy I would also hazard a guess that 5 years of being the Dread Pirate Roberts also landed dear Westley with some opportunities of his own. Ya know galavanting the "world" in comparison to Buttercup staying pretty much where she's always been and being forced into a marriage by the ruler of the lands she has never left. See also this thing that has bothered me for decades at this point... if "eyes like the sea after a storm" is your one thing you're going to say about someones looks MAYBE, just maybe, notice the very same eyes in the face of the person in front of you. It's not like the Dread Pirate Robert's was wearing contacts. All aspects of this scene just hit a little different as a femme rapidly approaching 40.

The fire swamp scenes almost feel like an analogy of becoming an adult. They go from this beautiful sunny countryside (youth) into this damp, murky, mysterious overgrown land (adulthood). Not to mention that there's this combination of things "everyone" knows about the fire swamp (that apparently everyone is also super blasé about or flat out declares "doesn't exist"), the dangers that announce themselves but take some awareness of to avoid literally going up in flames, and the dangers that no one told you about (I'm looking at you quicksand).Adulthood is definitely like trying to make your way through the fire swamp and far too many people spend their time trying to make the fire swamp home instead of getting the hell through it. I'm also currently in love with thinking of the "out of nowhere" things one is perhaps not ever really prepared for are the R.O.U.S.s of the real world. Chronic conditions, sudden losses, being fired from a job, etc. See also shout-out to Buttercup's use of her Brat status to disrupt both Humperdinck and Westley at exactly the same time. Brat power for sure.

Ah yes enter the Count Rugen aka the Six-Fingered Man and an exploration of the tourture pit beneath a forest. Rugen is without a doubt in my mind a sadist. His whole existence seems to be about pushing people past their limits and inflicting pain. It does make me wonder if he's ever been on the receiving side of said pain. Like is that his backstory? Was he damaged by someone in his formidable years and now he just takes it out on whomever he is told to? Did he witness torture and become fascinated by it, slowly but surely making it the entirety of his personality? I have so many questions. The man can most certainly build/design a helluva torture pit though. Humperdinck reminds me of 95% of American politicians... all neutral fancy talk, making the promises he sees will get him what he wants, and delivering on exactly none of them. At least not intentionally.

As the movie carries on we get to see the loving relationship between our service top and bottom, which might just be the most wholesome and genuine love of the entire movie. These two are the ones I want by my side if anything were to ever go wrong. Caring, compassionate, multi-talented, determined, and focused. What more could a gal ask for? The last roughly 40-45minutes of the runtime are spent giving us glorious resolution in a way that is entirely impractical in any semblance of real life but is also entirely heartwarming. From sword divinity to miracles from the jaded lil old couple in the woods, pyrotechnics to marriage ceremonies gone wrong; the last portion of this movie gives us humor, fight scenes, romance, and hope for what "comes next" for most of the characters. This one by and large holds up and is absolutely worth the hour and 38 minute runtime.